Jiminy Crickets!
I'm going to kill that cricket....as soon as I find him. That little beast has taken up residence in my window well and woke me up at 4 a.m. yesterday morning. I pounded on the window until my knuckles were sore, but he would only stop long enough to catch his breath; then he would start up again. I had to pull the covers over my head and rely on my exhaustion to carry me back into the land of nothingness.
And now tonight, he's back...praise and worship in full swing. I told Sharon he's going to have to die, no doubt about that. We have no bug spray, so I grabbed my carpet cleaner, my flashlight, and an old flip-flop. I shone my flashlight out my window... no cricket to be seen. I could hear him alright, just not see him. I shone and shone and shone. No cricket!! But I did find two baby crickets waiting to jump in my window should I open it, three slugs, one VERY LARGE spider, one small spider, and two bugs of the unidentifiable sort. And then my nerve left me. I couldn't bring myself to open my window. There are entirely too many uninvited things that could come in.
Sharon appeared on the scene. "My," she said. "You do have a nice little chorus going on in here."
I decided to go outside and approach it "unawares." I grabbed my flashlight, carpet cleaner, and flop on my way out. I had to approach my window like a thief in the night because Ray & Stacy were still up watching TV, and I didn't want to scare them. I kicked and thumped the window well and shone my flashlight some more, but could not find a thing...except MORE spiders and MORE unidentifiable bugs. Nothing deters this crazy cricket. I gave up and went back inside, noting that Ray's lights were out. I probably freaked them out with my kicking and thumping, and they probably think we are being attacked or something. Sigh. And still the cricket sings. And I feel like I have bugs all over me.
I need to know two things from some country bumpkin out there:
1. Does a cricket sing all night?
2. What is the life expectancy of a cricket?
I think I shall burst into a rousing rendition of my own: "Oh, Lord Jesus, How Long?"
And now tonight, he's back...praise and worship in full swing. I told Sharon he's going to have to die, no doubt about that. We have no bug spray, so I grabbed my carpet cleaner, my flashlight, and an old flip-flop. I shone my flashlight out my window... no cricket to be seen. I could hear him alright, just not see him. I shone and shone and shone. No cricket!! But I did find two baby crickets waiting to jump in my window should I open it, three slugs, one VERY LARGE spider, one small spider, and two bugs of the unidentifiable sort. And then my nerve left me. I couldn't bring myself to open my window. There are entirely too many uninvited things that could come in.
Sharon appeared on the scene. "My," she said. "You do have a nice little chorus going on in here."
I decided to go outside and approach it "unawares." I grabbed my flashlight, carpet cleaner, and flop on my way out. I had to approach my window like a thief in the night because Ray & Stacy were still up watching TV, and I didn't want to scare them. I kicked and thumped the window well and shone my flashlight some more, but could not find a thing...except MORE spiders and MORE unidentifiable bugs. Nothing deters this crazy cricket. I gave up and went back inside, noting that Ray's lights were out. I probably freaked them out with my kicking and thumping, and they probably think we are being attacked or something. Sigh. And still the cricket sings. And I feel like I have bugs all over me.
I need to know two things from some country bumpkin out there:
1. Does a cricket sing all night?
2. What is the life expectancy of a cricket?
I think I shall burst into a rousing rendition of my own: "Oh, Lord Jesus, How Long?"
posted by Kris at 6/07/2005 11:39:00 PM
1 Comments:
Oh too hillarious!!
When is that NY post coming? I am sure it too will be filled with hillarious incidents. :-)
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