Regarding Roller Coasters

It didn't turn out the way it was supposed to. There it was--on my List of Things to Do Before I Die: Ride a Real Roller Coaster. One of the dreams of my childhood was always to go to a theme park and just revel in all the rides. And I dreamed of how a roller coaster should be. And that was The Plan.

Dee's mother works for Huish Detergents, a local factory who gives their employees free tickets every year to go to a theme park. They also provide discounted tickets to the employee's family and friends. So that is how we came to be joining Dee and her family at Holiday World and Splashin' Safari in Santa Claus, Indiana, this last Saturday morning. Jolene brought her friend Lisa with her, and we joined about 20,000 other thrill-seekers on this, the busiest day of the season. There were people EVERYWHERE.

Our first real thrill came with what is called the Liberty Launch. It is a four-sided structure with seats on all sides, facing outward. Because of the 20,000 other people in the park, we stood in that line for thirty minutes. Dee was determined we should try it, but it was certainly a stretch out of my comfort zone. It didn't even look like fun. It would send you shooting straight up as if you were a rocket, then drop you straight down, then back up again even higher, and back down. The people who went before us had reactions of varying degrees of sheer terror, which was much more amusing than the ride appeared to be.

I was determined I should not scream. After all, in my thirty minutes of standing in line, I knew that for as many people as went up, they always came back down no matter how stark their terror was or how loudly they screamed. But when it was my turn in the hot seat, reality slapped me in the face. I steeled myself, just waiting for the Launch. Oh, it was dicey alright. They let you dangle there for a few precious seconds on purpose...to build the suspense. And thus, my nerves were shot before the ride ever began. ThenZING... up we went, just a'flyin'! I knew if I didn't time my swallowing mechanism just right, something was going to come flying out.. either my breakfast or a shrill scream. I really preferred to keep my dignity intact, so I swallowed even as my eyes bugged out! My view was such that I locked eyes with the guy sitting in the control room. As we went up, his head went up, as we went down, his head went down. Very interesting and a good distraction. It gave me something to focus on. That is one ride, however, I feel there is no need to repeat.

There were other interesting rides which we enjoyed very much. It was The Legend, however, that proved to be our undoing. The Legend is named for The Legend of Sleepy Hollow and is found in the Halloween section of the park (This is Holiday World, remember? They also have Christmas, Fourth of July, etc.). We stood in line for a good little bit. We couldn't see the entire track, but we could see the tall incline that was the first landmark of the ride. We were almost to the front of the line and had actually entered a little building in order to get into the car. We were brave and at that point, ready for any thrill it might pitch our way. About two rides away from us getting into our roller coaster car, they announced there was a problem with the track. Oh help. So we got to peer out of the window and watch as the maintenance man painstakingly made his way up to the top of the first hill.

We waited and waited. Finally, Mr. Maintenance made his way back down to where we were all waiting. They consulted with each other and looked at the computer screen and finally decided he should have another go at it. For the second time, Mr. M made his way up to the top of the first hill where I imagined that whatever hole was up there surely must be getting bigger by the second. If Sharon and I had had a way to escape at this point, I would've chucked roller coasters off my List, and out we would have gone. Jolene and Lisa were standing resolved and ready to go at a minute's notice and were determined we were NOT going to abandon the project, no matter how long we would have to wait. Mr. M made it back for the second time, and then they decided they would send the cars around the track with nobody in it to see if everything was in working order (and to make sure it didn’t jump the track). In fact, they did it twice. It was really rather unnerving.

Two rides went through before us, and the people in them appeared to be unharmed when they arrived back at the station, so we steeled ourselves and climbed in when it finally was our turn. We crept into the car and fastened everything we could possibly find to fasten; my resolve was wobbly, at best.There were two bars to hold on to, and I made sure I used both of them. And then the Ride began.. slowly, at first, as we crept up the steep incline of the first hill. As we reached the apex, however, and looked down the other side, Sharon [as she later reported] had a little Come-to-Jesus Meeting. And she promised herself that if she would just make it off this ride, she would never try it again. I, on the other hand, tried to close my eyes, for it was terrifying to look down at where we were to be going. Who in their right mind would make something this steep and call it fun? But unfortunately, my left eye wouldn't stay closed, and thus began about three minutes of stark terror.

We plunged this way, and we plunged that way. We went up, and we went down. We went into dark tunnels and came splashing out again into the sun. I was so terrified, in fact, that I couldn't help but giggle every now and then [to keep from crying, I think]. The fellow in front of me put his arms straight up--and the very thought of it made me lose even more of the color I already didn't have. And then... we could feel that we were airborne.. as in leaving the tracks!! I knew that whatever hole was to be found, we must have found it. How frightening that was. And then I found out later, that that airborne feeling was INTENTIONAL! It was a very long three minutes.

Once we finally stopped, I think Sharon and I must've been white as a sheet. Jolene and Lisa, on the other hand, absolutely loved it and wanted to go again. So on we went to The Raven, the other roller coaster. There was a sign posted that said that this ride was not for those people who had certain ailments, including heart problems. It was at this point that Sharon revealed that she had recently developed heart problems and declared herself unfit for such a ride. And amidst Jolene and Lisa’s jeers of what babies we were, we willingly retired our roller coaster career.