No Mojo Left

I am trying to work on homework. Despite the new light I recently bought for my desk, I feel like I can't see anything. I have lost all motivation ("mojo," in college-speak), and waves of despair wash over me afresh as I contemplate exactly how much work I have to do before this semester can be considered finished.

When my professor told us during Class One that we were to read our textbook and write thirty chapter summaries, I knew it would take a lot of time. I approached it as I usually do—grit my teeth and try to get it over and done with sooner rather than later. My strategy was to do five chapters per week so that I can get finished with enough time left to do the 15-20 page research paper that is required for the same class. At the end of the eighth chapter summary (22 left), I can see how much time goes into it, and I fear I cannot finish this within a year—much less within six weeks.

I asked my classmate Dave, who has yet to complete his first chapter summary, how he plans to finish it all. "Well Kris," he said, "I very likely will do a shoddier job on it than you will."

I honestly don't know how to do shoddy jobs. I'm not a perfectionist, by any means, but neither do I want to hand anything in that is anything less than what I consider to be my best (or at least a good) effort. It really stinks sometimes (like now).

Last semester, my finance professor told me that he thought my financial analysis paper is the best one he has ever received—even better than any from his graduate students. I was very surprised because I felt I only did what I interpreted the instructions to have told me to do. I estimated that I probably put an accumulated 24 hours into my paper—whereas one of my classmates was bragging that she "slapped [hers] together in an hour."

How do you just slap something together in an hour?

The problem often comes in that I take the instructions I am given… quite literally. And I do everything it says to do (and probably a little more). My classmates, on the other hand, seemingly put about half of the energy into whatever the instructions would indicate. And they often get full credit for doing so. How inequitable is that?

I have to say, however, I have been seeing a general decline in the quality of my work with each summary that I am painstakingly cranking out. That is progress, in my opinion, and I am rather proud of it.