A Tangled Heap

I now know how it feels to be sucked into the dark hole of an abyss, for that’s exactly how I felt Sunday night. Sharon, Sara, Martin, and I had gone to Lee & Rhonda’s for the evening, and as one will do upon arrival, I sat in a vacant rocking chair in the corner of the dining room. I absent-mindedly noticed that where there once had been arms, there were only holes, and all that now remained was the seat and back. So I sat down and began to rock. And we began to converse as if we were old friends (which we are).

I suppose I was a little ambitious in my method of rocking, but I do so enjoy a good “rock.” But about the fourth rock backward, however, there was a horrific crack and then a snap! And indeed, I felt myself being sucked right off into the abyss beside the chair. And there was no amount of flailing that could help it. I felt Sara’s fingertips just brush my arm as if she were trying to save me from my destiny, and I reached for her as desperately as a drowning victim would have. But it ultimately did me no good. All the flailing in the world (which I attempted) couldn’t have helped me at that point. And I landed in the most disgraceful tangled heap upon the very hard floor. And it was not pretty.

When everything had come to a standstill, Rhonda stood before me, apologizing for the behavior of the chair that evidently had its own history of prior breakings. And I was apologizing just as profusely for having put undue pressure on the back of that poor chair. My apology was serious and laced with the embarrassment that only one in such an awkward position can appreciate. Rhonda’s apology, on the other hand, was intertwined with such laughter as I have never seen in her before. And amidst her hysteria, she snatched that chair up and marched out the door with it in tow. And she laughed hysterically… all the way to the garbage can.

Martin and Lee were out in the bakery (thank you, God, for small favors), and they looked on in absolute bewilderment as Rhonda stood there by the garbage can, disposing of a rocking chair, laughing hysterically and trying to convey the events of the past several minutes. When they finally understood the situation, they said they wished they could have seen it. I’m glad they didn’t.

And I finally felt safe… from my spot on the floor. As the saying goes: With friends like that…