Pantry Talk

It seems we have a chronic problem at our house with food. I told Sharon the other day, "Never have I seen a pantry so full that has nothing in it to eat."

Some of the stuff really is worthless: like the bag of doughnut mix that Sharon picked up at some bulk food shop in Indiana a couple years ago. It's been so long ago that the directions have completely disappeared so we can't make them if we wanted to. Then there's the box of Marzipan Cappuccino we got in Germany. I decided cappuccino in Germany is different from cappuccino here in the States, and it is best left alone. Then there are the various cake and brownie mixes you keep around just in case you get in a pinch and have to take something somewhere sometime. There are boxes of jello and pudding, but that's more of a dessert than it is a staple. Partially eaten bags of this or that just keep sitting there creating their own "ghost town" legacy.

We do have a couple things that present at least a little value, such as pasta or rice. But in order to have good pasta or rice, you have to have some kind of sauce and a meat. Rarely can we time it so that we have all the ingredients in our kitchen for a stellar pasta dish all at the same time. So when we do have a pasta dish, it is usually something like plain old spaghetti. IF we happen to have hamburger that hasn't been freezer burned, that is.

See, that's our other problem. Our freezer is a horrid little freezer. It looks all nice and innocent on the outside, but on the inside (where it matters), it ruins our food with frost if we keep it for more than "a reasonable length of time" (which we routinely do).

We do have canned green beans in our pantry, but green beans are best when eaten with a main dish or are part of the main dish themselves. They're not so great when they themselves are the main dish.

Fresh fruit and vegetables we buy present their own problems. First of all, some of them really struggle from the moment they're picked up off the shelves, particularly in the winter time. Secondly, they end up being victims of gross and wanton neglect. For example, the apple that I thought I would be sure to eat when I picked it up in the store sits in the fruit bowl for a couple days… and sits in the fruit bowl… and sits in the fruit bowl… and as I rush through the kitchen one day, I glance at the fruit bowl, and oh my! There is the apple. But it is too late to save its fruity little life.

And so we have become connoisseurs of Campbell's soup. And hooray for Ramen noodles. And Hamburger Helper. And canned fruit.

I broke out the cracked wheat the other night for a new food experience, but Sharon wasn't so fond of it. So inevitably, when there is just "nothing to eat" and we're not in a Campbell's soup mood, we have to go grocery shopping. Everything about grocery shopping depresses me. Cooking itself isn't so bad, but if you have to cook something, it means you have to have the ingredients. And in order to have the right ingredients, you have to do a bit of planning before you actually go shopping. And planning for groceries isn't my forte in the least. In fact, if I do manage to come up with a list, it is usually left sitting at home on the kitchen cupboard. (I think this must come from years of living five miles from Wal-Mart—it's just too easy to run up town on a whim.)

This last week we finally decided that the time had come when we could no longer put it off, and so bundled ourselves up and off we went to Wal-Mart to do a bit of grocery shopping. And we spent a considerable amount of time in that store, as we usually do. And many aisles and decisions later, we left the store one hundred dollars and thirty-two cents poorer.

We realized as we were leaving that except for some sandwich supplies, we STILL didn't have anything of substance to eat!

But we did have plenty of things to drink, we saw, and straws through which to drink it (I love straws). And thankfully, we will be able to continue washing our hair regularly, shaving our legs, washing our clothes, washing our dishes, and giving treats to Cleo. And I did stock up on salt and pepper and corn starch. That's something, isn't it?

But I guess it looks like we will be "grocery shopping" again tomorrow unless we want eggs for the third time this week.